Some Idiot Pretending to be a Doctor

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

I am in the Shady Grove Hospital waiting room with Ashley. There are a lot of people waiting, and some of them are in great distress, one woman in particular, with her two adult children and her husband, was clearly in great distress.

Me and Ashley gave the place the best AA has to offer. Everyone around us got benefits. The couple with the three year old, who was staring to get rambunctious, were delighted by story-time featuring some Princess with exactly the same name as the little girl, and a dinosaur, and Prince Charming and happily ever after and all that good stuff – I just threw in whatever was lying around in the storybook part of my brain. She loved it.

Ashley meanwhile was distributing blankets to the shivering patients. The very sick woman said to me, you know the sound of your voice is making me feel better. So I called Ashley (at my house picking up the wrong phone charger) and I asked her to bring my I Ching.  Anyway, the point is, you read passages from the book aloud. I have been doing this since 1980. I have actually made a living, doing just this, but that was only possible because of special circumstances. I asked her son to text me her room number, when she finally got one, so I could visit and do a reading for her.

The nurse arrived and announced my name. I said “you are not taking me before her. I absolutely refuse to be taken before her. Her husband shed a few tears as he mouthed the Thank-You. No worries mate.

That put me at the back of the line, not next, but last. One good turn deserves another, I guess.

When they finally called me, they didn’t put me in room. The Doctor performed no tests, was very abusive and insulting, gave me a sandwich – said that was all I needed and threw me out of the Hospital at 4:00 am. (He waited for Ashley to leave so he could be sure I was well and truly punished for my crimes in the waiting room) It took me six hours to walk home. I walked for an hour, got lost, went back to the hospital, got directions. The directions were insufficient – My phone was dead, so I couldn’t get a map. So I turned around, went back to the Hospital, and this time got proper directions (delivered as if it were my fault the first directions were inadequate) and then I walked home.

Not the best start to a day.

It gets a lot lot worse.

More later.